Free

How do we allow people to have control over our hearts.. mind.. bodies.. Its like when they are here you are happy.. when they are gone your sad you crave them more than food.. you may love them more than you love yourself.. Or you may just be in love with the thought of being in love.. Whatever it maybe no one can change the way you feel about them.. Its like they have some kind of power over you.. Wat is this force you have over me? And how do I break free?

Porcelian Doll

Words of a wise woman "I had a porcelian doll I had onto it way too tightly and when it broke I swore I'd never hold onto something so tightly again." Finally finding what you have been wanting and praying for is a blessing in its self.. But when that blessing is taken away from you, it causes you to take a step back from the situation and evaluate. This thing happened so fast.. I dont wanna call it love because I dont really know what love is. But I know it has potential! One thing I do know is that I dont want to be bamboozled. I know many people will have things to say but there is only one captain of this ship.. I hope I am going in the right direction.. I can see it but it feels more like a fairy tale. But they do say fairytales have happy endings I hope this is true. Because when im with you I feel happy I feel loved and I feel like I cant wait to be with you again. I dont know if thats because of the situation of you leaving me..I have never been in a situation like this.. I never had someon show me the affection the way you have.. Or maybe I have and I just eat the shit up when you give it to me. Whatever it is I love it and I hope the fire doesnt burn out on either side..

Bifocals

I always sit and think.. maybe I think too much maybe thats the problem. But thinking has gotten me far n this life.. People ask why I dont talk much.. Im more of an observer.. I sit back and watch the world. At times it feels like it is passing me by but other times I feel like im way above the rest..At times I feel like I have friends and at times I feel alone. But what is a friend any way.. Someone you can go too and someone that knows all your secrets.. I like to say I have associates and one good friend. And she doesnt even know everything about me.. Over these years I realized its hard to say goodbye! But when its like I have been saying goodbye to you my friend for the past 2 years... So its not so hard. I dispise <--sp kissing peoples ass. Sometimes I do things that are misunderstood.. Sometimes I can be a bitch! But friends always look past that.. A friendship is a bond.. And you my friend have let that bond unravel. I was still holding on but wats the purpose when all I will be left with is strands and memories from our friendship bond. As much as I would like to forget about you its hard because you have been my friend for so long. But I guess thats the way life is.. Its already written. They say people are in your life for a season and I guess our season has passed... I just dont understand how you let people bring us apart I thought we were bff's...

Monkey See Monkey Do!

Jockin my fresh! Everywhere I look I see the same thing.. It was once upon a time skinny jeans, and graphic tees were considered original! I think we should all just walk around naked. Clothes don't make u cool. <3 dopeish

Guilty Pleasure

Whats Understood Aint Got 2 B Explained...

People are so quick to judge and give opinions.. Its easier said than done for a lot of things... People are so quick to say I would never, why would she?, it would be better if you did this. People are always judging! People want you to do things when they want you to do things and I dont approve. People want instant success, instant gratification, instant outcomes but you have to be patient. There are so many People our here who are misunderstood and I wish they had a voice. At times I feel very misunderstood People look at me and think im one way when I am the exact opposite. People judge with complete ignorance. Sometimes the things I think of I wonder if everyone else thinks the same or am I just nuts??

Another thing I want to touch on is how People were so quick to jump on the Michael Jackson bandwagon of how he was a pediphile. Maybe he just loved kids.. Wats so wrong for a man who enjoyed children? I look at it this way he wanted to give some children the childhood he never got to experience. Just learning about this man and how much torture he went through as a child. I understand how he turned into a (freak show) no disrespect. But he took on a lot of abuse as a child and in his adulthood as well. People need to learn not to be so cruel.

The most important thing in this world is LOVE! If you disagree you have no direction what so ever. 1st Corinthians ch 13 the greatest feeling is Love. People need to learn to love one another. If a lot of these murderers, psychos, robbers, pediphiles, adulterers had someone to love them they would have been better people.

Little girls who are out here sleeping with different guys for attention. So People look at here like she's crazy and immediately start to judge. Why don't you try to see what her problem is instead of labeling her as a hoe?? Im sure there is a reason why she's out there... Rebelious children have a reason as to why they are rebelious. Think b4 you judge People.

21... As I left my teenage years I thought like every day im getting closer and closer to OLD! My mind set was like that Toys R Us commercial I dont wanna grow up cuz I wouldnt b a ToysRUs kid. But once 21 arrived I realized I have my whole life ahead of me.. this is just the beginning. There is a long rode ahead with twist and turns. But im ready.. I can't see the end, but I can definately see a path.

So Now Im Gonna B 4 I'z..... 8-I

the ralph lauren's r pretty cool... but the black and white D&G's r my fav...

these bulgari's r pretty dope

Put Your Own Picture On The Ceiling

I use to have a wall full with pictures of celebrities people I longed to meet or even be with.. These were people u can say I sorta idolized. What I didnt realize was that these "idols" were people just like me. PEOPLE that were once like me,, PEOPLE that dreamed in their room. But these PEOPLE followed their dream and made this DREAM into a reality. Its nothing spectacular about them they dont have any super powers or they were once just like me. We have been told since we were young believe in yourself... If you dont believe in yourself who will?? Then there are those people that say 1 outta 1,000,000,000 people become famous. But with faith and determination you can do any thing you just gotta put yourself out there.

I also thought about life and how we are consistantly comparing ourselves to the next person. What somebody else has may not work for you. Somebody has an audi that aint gone work for me.. Somebody has a man that aint what i need in my life right now. I came to realize what God wants me to have I will have. Also things I cant control I shouldnt even worry about. Because I cant control it.

So instead of comparing myself to somebody else im just gonna b me. I took down all those posters and I put up a couple of myself because im not so bad. : )

Im Black and Im Proud

Black History is so interesting our schools have watered down the importance of African American Histoy.. Its been so long since I have learned about black inventions, poets, writers, etc in school. I have been in melting pots of schools for the past 9 years and on black history month we dont discuss the struggle of African Americans.
People are fighting to keep the arts and the extra curricular activities in our schools.. but what about the blacks?? We need black programs n our schools... All that bullshit we learn in the history books wars and george washington thats all fine but we need to learn about the people that got us this far.
As black people we need to know where we came from... If everyone had a good understanding of where we came from we wouldnt be so hateful towards one another.. I kno I can't change the world but when people read this it can help them open up their mind...
We should celebrate black history everyday of our lives...

Boy I Need You Bad as A Heart Beat....

I want you but u dont kno it... or do u?

Here we go again.. smh

I can't let u get the best of me..

Baby I need u bad.

Heartless

ok so I thought I found mr. perfect.. well guess wat he tried to trick tha gucci. he wine n dined me spent that good dough but he wasnt just trickin that dough on me. he was also trickin off on a girl right around the way. imagine that!! i found out he was messin wit shorty and n he like well why u still talk to me.. in my mind im thinkin like cuz u spendin that money nigga. FUCK! how u gone b a pimp n u losing. get yo life together clown. thats exactly why im gonna start talkin to non black guys.. i see why black men dont want black women they probably feel like i feel right now. when u get screwed over so much you become apathetic. so now im raising my standards.. n e body know of n e suga daddies? lmfao. jk.

He's Definately a Psycho

Guys r animals all of them.. Its like u get one and u think like he may be different bcuz he tells u so.. But they are all the same. So I let whatever they say go n one ear n out the other. N it seems that every guy I meet I kinda fall n luv with them. haha its so dumb.

I had 2 crazy guys to start off o9 so what does that say about the rest of the year?? Hopefully nothing.. : (

The last crazy guy was dope luved his style, smile, all that. He was a little young he didnt have a ride but his splashiness over compinsated all that.

But I went to his house after we had like a 2 week break which was totally not my idea.. He just didnt call me for two weeks n when he finally did I went to his house like a idiot..

Everything went well until he tried to get me to go down on him.. Im like "DUDE NO WAY" then he tried to force me into doin it..

I was so frickin scared because he started to like choke me n shit.. wtf!!!

I havent talked to him since.

Choke that Chicken

Im sittin @ the computer n the lab @ school and there r two guys on both sides of me.. So the guy to my right puts his hand n his sweater.. Then he starts to move his hand. Im thinkin like I kno this fool aint beatin his shit right next to me.. He started movin his hand faster so then I kno wats up.. He was definately choking that chicken. I will b sure to have hand sanitizer on deck @ all times.. The shit u see @ MVCC.